Start With Yourself Book Summary

Start With Yourself

• Emma Grede shares her journey from East London to becoming a Forbes-listed mogul, emphasizing mindset over playbooks. She aims to help readers manage emotions, dispel limiting beliefs, and take charge of their lives.

• By reading this, you'll be able to:

  • Master your emotions to make better decisions.
  • Identify the mindset shifts to achieve your life goals.
  • Realize your own capability to create your reality.

Core Content:

1. Managing Emotions:

• Emotional literacy and intelligence are critical for understanding self and others.
  • Women are often allowed to be more in tune with their emotions, which can be an advantage if managed well.
  • Learn to modulate emotions without suppression.
  • Gut-based intuitions can benefit you if used correctly.

2. Dealing with Anger:

• Acknowledge and address the roots of your anger.
• Goal is not to avoid anger but to express it skillfully and directly.
• Practice emotional hygiene; deal with things as they arise.
• Don't be reactive; be the creator of your own experience.
• Action Suggestion: Take deep breaths and calm down when you feel anger rising.

3. Navigating Fear:

• Use fear as a signal for something important. - Fear can signal a big opportunity for growth or a space to win.
• Understand that fear is excitement without breath.
• Learn to push through discomfort; stalling and overthinking are costly.
• Reframe the stress as a “challenge stress” instead of being life-threatening.
  • When stress comes; start asking questions and begin to figure out whatever new problem is in front of you to solve.
• Action Suggestion: Recognize that most of the time, you’re not in “real” danger.

4. Overcoming Guilt:

• Acknowledge and address the roots of your guilt. Don't neglect yourself while managing your kids.
  • "Don't parent from guilt," embrace career ambitions.
• Make decisions from a perspective that looks out for family and most importantly, oneself.
  • Being the only safe & reliable adult your kids have access to is not emotionally realistic for anyone
• You must contend with your ambivalence and cut yourself some slack.
  • Stop making women feel like they are being derelict in their duty by having & really wanting their career
• Action Suggestion: Make your decision-making apparent to your kids, especially daughters.

5. Embracing Sadness:

• Understand that it's normal to experience sadness.
  • Make use of "Rule of Thirds"; be happy 1/3, alright 1/3, and shitty 1/3 of the time. It's okay.
• Use emotions as a way to tune in to where you are in life.
• Loneliness is common, so seek genuine connections.
  • Don't use social media to highlight reel permanently good times & "winning" moments only
• Cultivate ways to fill yourself with energy - spend time with the people they love, girl trips, time with family, good sleep, and take care of their mind and body
• Action Suggestion: Keep a journal to contain your feelings.

6. Finding Joy:

• Don't "manage" joy; clear barriers that make it hard to find. -Create a life that centers around habits, routines, and rituals that will bring you with joy.
• Money solves money problems but doesn't guarantee happiness.
• Take responsibility for your inner state; happiness is on you.
• You can't manufacture it either. In my experience, it comes unbidden and leaves just as fast
• Action Suggestion: Make a list of things that bring you joy and make sure you are doing them regularly.

7. Principles for Success

• Do what you say you're going to do, show up.
  • It doesn't have to be the "brutal truth", the truth is good enough. -Stay in motion.
    • Never underestimate the impact or importance of a team. -If you are not constant training your team to replace you...you are failing to build a long term company.

Q&A

Q: Why is managing emotions important in business and life?

A: Managing emotions is critical because it allows you to make rational decisions, understand others, and navigate challenges without being controlled by feelings like anger or fear.

Q: What are "Old Thoughts," and why should women challenge them?

A: "Old Thoughts" are core beliefs that limit women's potential, such as needing others' approval or believing money is unspiritual. Challenging them enables women to break free from societal expectations.

Q: What does it mean to "Start With Yourself"?

A: Starting With Yourself means taking responsibility for your life, managing your emotions, identifying what can make you energetic, dropping blaming others, and charting your own destiny.